Sometimes, it’s not that you don’t have the motivation to improve yourself, on your own, it’s that, if your in an intense relationship, the issues of yourself, and your partner, become intertwined, eventually making your situation worse, sometimes the ideal is being on your own, for a little while, or separating in a relationship which isn’t going to give you what you want in the long term.
I highly doubt I would be in his life if I didn’t think I was going to get what I want/need long term. Neither of us have the motivation or the patience to put in effort together / to us when we know it won’t get us what we want. We’re selfish like that
He has to build you up, such that… you can be your best, without him, not so that you are at your worst without him, let alone with him. I think it’s important to realise that, full time ‘Lifestylers’ get lost in their worlds as a way to hide their real issues.
This really made me smile because that’s exactly as I see him. I tell him I’m scared about what will happen if something does happen to “us” but, on the flip side, he builds me up in such a way that I feel better, more confident, more capable, than anything or anyone I considered myself to be before we started this. And, he doesn’t let me hide my ‘real issues’ – if anything, being the way we are gives me much less chance of hiding any issues I have.
It is important to have balance, everything in balance, yourself, your friends, your partners, your studying, your career, your hobbies, and so forth…. all in balance, yes sometimes different parts of our lives impose on the other aspects, however overall, when we have balance, we have a healthy life.
Agreed.
He may have helped you to gain confidence and change yourself in many positive ways, but sometimes, if things don’t change, it can make matters much worst, sometimes the issue is that of just a normal relationship, that one party will be more healthier… more happier… and growth more if they move on from their current partner.
Ah-huh…
So that may be something you wish to consider, especially if your relationship, as well as you, as an individual have been static… unchanging in what matters for some time. It’s not that you need him, and can’t do things without him, it’s that sometimes…. when someone changes us, moulds us so drastically, we get stuck in those early phases because we compare ourselves to that person and a lot of the time we think that we can’t hold a candle to them, and get lost in our own insecurities.
I don’t really have a response to that? I like the balance we have in terms of … Comparison and matching up. It makes me smile.
But when we move on… we get back onto the path of changing who we are, as no single person can change us, he may have started to change you, but he will not finish it.
Really?
You have to figure out, what you want to do, with your life. As I can see my previous relationship in this, my Ex is…not living up to my standards, but… she is changing, and importantly she is happy. She has stop being idle, which show she was for years.
I always think it’s strange when guys mention their exes in their first contact with me lol I figure things out on my own, I take advice from a multitude of people, but make that choice on my own.
I’m taking time out of my Life too, to well,, explore…me… and the World, if I can do it, so can you I was pondering a planned trip, but then I thought it was silly, why not just… make it spontaneous, 12-18-24 months of… going whoever I want to go, whenever I want to go. Well still excluding some Professional obligations now and then.
Good on you.
The only annoying thing is it is difficult to find someone to travel with, for that long. So the ideal solution is probably travelling now and then with peep I know, a few days here, and a few weeks there. And focus on other aspects.
Ah okay…
The world is changing, so I guess I wanted to visit some places, before I couldn’t anymore, but also hoped to recover some of my energy and passes, some how, no clue as to how.
Alright…
But I can say that it is important, for you to have your own dreams and be passionate about them, with a passion, you don’t give up, you keep on going even after you have failed, eventually succeeding, else everyone would be a ’success’ .
Pretty sure anyone who knows me would say that’s my style haha
Study, travel, Explore, Discover, Learn…. grow by yourself for a little while, gain confidence by yourself, and then you’ll be able to dictate terms to your partners, so that they understand your Submission is a Gift given Daily, not once, it can be tank away at any time.
Well this bit isn’t worth responding to because it’s completely contradictory to how I think of Sir and I.
In the mean time… don’t be afraid to stop submitting and live how you want, I would suggest a safe word implementation, once you say it, he stops being a Master Asshat and acts like your equal Partner, not superior Master. Smoke if you wish, go out with friends when you want, stay up late to watch movies…. or if your extra bored, come and pass the time with me… we can play! here
Ahh, you just crossed the line from rambly loser to douche. Shame for you.
No offence is taken to delays in responses, or short replies to my long messages, so take your time replying if you even want to. But I do hope you get what you want, you can say that a relationship which is working, is one in which both or all parties involved, are getting what they want from the other parties, beyond that their self issues or life issues, their partners must support them on.
Yep… That’s what we have.
Bye
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